Most men like to think that they know what they are doing in bed. But let’s face facts – there’s sex and then there’s great sex! One is perfunctory – we’re all experts at it – while the other is an art form that needs to be both acknowledged and then learned. You, have to be the subject, the teacher, the instructor and the examiner if you intend to have great orgasms.
Great sex – Great Orgasms…
Evolution has made it easy for a man to climax. While there can be an emotional element involved, it often requires nothing more than desire and a little friction. But most women rarely orgasm – let alone have a great orgasm, without the mental warmth and desire that comes with awareness, care and attention to your needs.
OK, we know it can be awkward helping your lover understand that you really don’t like him grabbing your pussy long before he’s remembered you have lips, ear lobes, a neck, breasts and other – oh so erotic – parts to your anatomy. But a genuine orgasmic response from you is going to very quickly overcome any bruising his ego might feel when you explain you want to teach him how to really satisfy you.
If you are like many women, you may have been disappointed more times than you care to admit. In 2001, researchers conducted a survey among women and found that only 18 percent reached orgasm every time they had sex. That leaves the other 82% ‘hanging out to dry’! Meanwhile, 98% of male partners have come, maybe rolled over and are ready for sleep!
If any of this resonates, here’s how you can change your sexual future…
How to Teach Him to Satisfy You
But there is a reliable way to improve your chances of achieving climax. All you need to do is teach your man how to take you over the edge and leave you satisfied.
Most men attain an immense sense of satisfaction in knowing that they have made their partner happy. By showing and telling your partner when, how, and what to do, you’re teaching them how to achieve precisely that.
The key here is to be sensitive to his feelings. Keep the lessons playful and stay clear of his ego. You don’t want your man to feel like he’s inadequate. After all, he simply doesn’t know what you like. Below are a few tips to help you teach your man how to pleasure you in bed.
1. Improve His Handyman Skills.
Manual stimulation is a reliable way to get things started. A 2017 study led by Professor Debby Herbenick of Indiana University found that 36.6 percent of women needed direct clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm during intercourse. If you are one of that group, then it’s important that your man rubs you the right way.
So, the next time you two are in bed together, quietly lead his hand between your legs. Whisper how good it feels there. Direct him in a soft, playful voice. Tell him what you like. That shouldn’t be too hard. Simply place his hand over your pubic mound and say, “I’d love it if you touched me like this.”
If the position is physically difficult for him to comply, don’t hesitate to use your own hand as that is very likely to add to his arousal while giving you what you need.
2. Don’t Forget Oral Lessons.
Communication beyond moaning is difficult when your man is performing cunnilingus on you. Your thighs are blocking his ears, after all. That’s why it’s best to use body language to get him to please you exactly the way you want.
So how can you make sure you secure those crucial pre-coital strokes of his tongue? Try rubbing his head to signal when you want him to give more or less pressure.
If he still doesn’t get the message, use your fingers to communicate. Situate them between your body and his mouth. That should be a clear enough indication for him. But be gentle. You don’t want him to stop. You just want him to learn how to do it the right way.
And while on the subject of ‘oral’, you might want to engage in a show and tell session where you can ask these 9 edgy questions…
3. Lead Him to Your Door.
Once you two are in the throes of lovemaking, show him how to find and maintain contact with your G-spot. Tutor him without busting his ego. Appeal to his male sense of logic. Explaining why certain moves feel better than others allows him to modify his tactics to please you.
Remember, in order to get a man to understand, he needs information that is clear and obvious. Get into a position that makes your G-spot accessible to him. When he finds the spot, encourage him. Just say, ” That’s perfect!”
You can fine-tune everything as much you want. If you want him to thrust deeper, push yourself into him to bring him closer. The woman-on-top position should let you put his penis in the right position. Doggie-style works well, too.
4. Teach Him to Slow Down.
Men are easily turned-on by eye candy. That means your man is probably ready to go the moment he sees you sans clothing. Often, he will not realize that it could take you longer to get into the mood.
So, what do you do in such a situation? Well, if your man wants full-on intercourse too abruptly, just get him in a position that slows him down. For instance, if he’s lying on his back, straddle him so that you’re sitting with his penis under you. That keeps his penis at bay, but you’ll be in a position that feels good for both of you.
From that perfect perch, you can bend down to kiss and touch him. Chances are, his hands will start touching you wherever they can.
Or you can encourage your man to a sitting position and arch your head back. This will inspire him to kiss your shoulders, breasts, and neck. You can rub your clitoris gently against his pubic bone, if you like. When you’re ready to go, simply say so in the sexiest way you can.
Dress to thrill!
Most men are very visual. For that matter, so are women but since the focus here is on your great orgasm, we’ll stick with men…
Consider wearing lingerie that doesn’t just excite him but actually encourages and leads him to explore your body. A good example is this Satin and Lace Trimmed Three-Piece Shelf Bra, Open Panty and Garter Set by My Secret Drawer. It’s gorgeously feminine but sends an absolutely unmistakable message… “I have breasts. Worship at them!”
And so, to the summary:
If You Fake It, You Won’t Make It!
Saying “Oh, yes!” when you mean “Could you please do this, instead?” keeps you from experiencing the pleasure you deserve. Faking your orgasms can also cause communication problems between you and your partner. That’s never good. Worse, if he thinks you’re orgasmic because of what he is doing (or not doing), why will he change? You are simply reinforcing a delusion.
Having an orgasm doesn’t just feel wonderful; it also helps you feel better mentally about your relationship. A study published in 2014 found that people who orgasmed opened up more to their partners afterwards. The big O stimulates the release of the “love hormone” oxytocin, which helps you bond with your partner.
While you might think it’s better, there’s never really a time when faking it is helpful in a serious relationship. If you’re not getting enjoyment from sex, it’s okay to say you want to stop. That gives you the space and time to discuss sex, negotiate, and give both of you realistic expectations.
Have you ever faked it? And did that really help you build a stronger relationship?
