Women don’t orgasm as frequently as men. That’s not a just opinion. It’s a fact. More and more studies are shedding light on this “orgasm gap,” yet it still poses a nagging, two-pronged question. Why does the disparity exist, and what can we do to achieve orgasm equality?
Researchers from Chapman University in California and the University of Indiana believe they may have finally discovered the answer. And it’s far simpler than what you imagine.
“What makes women orgasm is the focus of pretty intense speculation,” says David Frederick, an assistant professor of psychology at Chapman and the team’s lead author. “Every month, dozens of magazines and online articles highlight different ways to help women achieve orgasm more easily. It is the focus of entire books. For many people, orgasm is an important part of sexual relationships.”
So, what’s this fancy combination that makes women climax?
Frederick suggests that a combination of genital stimulation, deep kissing, and oral sex is the “golden trio.” He and his team are sure that these moves – executed in combination – are most likely to elicit a Yes, Yes, Yes from women.
That’s it, plain and simple, no elaborate toys, no especially difficult maneuvers a reasonably experienced man or woman might now know.
But how Chapman and his team arrived at their conclusion – and what they learned along the way – is something of a story in itself.
The researchers analyzed data collected through an online survey hosted on the NBC News website in 2017. More than 52,000 people aged between 18 and 65 participated in the survey. All participants were either married or in a relationship.
“We had the rare opportunity to look at responses from over 50,000 people, including over 2,000 gay, lesbian, and bisexual men and women,” says Chapman.
The results revealed several “orgasm gaps.” These existed not just between the sexes, but also between individuals with different sexual orientations.
Some 95 percent of heterosexual men reported that they usually or always achieved climax during sex. In stark contrast, just 65 percent of heterosexual women could say the same. The difference reveals quite a few things, according to the researchers.
Perhaps the most startling revelation is that heterosexual women who sleep with men were the least likely to orgasm among all the groups in the survey.
In comparison, the figure was 89 percent for gay men, 86 percent for lesbians, 88 percent for bisexual men, and 66 percent for bisexual women.
“The orgasm gaps between men and heterosexual women were well known prior to this study,” said Frederick. “The gaps between lesbian women and heterosexual women, however, were more speculative or based on small samples of lesbian women.”
“Some education is needed!”
The team attributes the large disparity among women to the fact that those in girl-on-girl partnerships are more likely to take turns at inducing orgasms. Women also have a better understanding than men that vaginal sex isn’t as effective as clitoral stimulation in prompting an orgasm.
“About 30 percent of men actually think that intercourse is the best way for women to have an orgasm, and that is sort of a tragic figure because it couldn’t be more incorrect,” says the study’s co-author Elisabeth Lloyd, a professor of biology at Indiana University.
Only 35 percent of heterosexual women always or usually orgasm during vaginal sex. Without vaginal penetration, 80 percent of heterosexual women and 91 percent of lesbians always or usually orgasm. “To say that there needs to be some education among men is an understatement,” says Lloyd.
True enough, a separate study funded by the University of Wisconsin found that over 60 percent of college students falsely believe the clitoris is inside the vaginal canal.
But both Lloyd and Frederick agree that there could be other reasons for the orgasm gap. Frederick says socio-cultural and evolutionary factors might be behind the phenomenon, as well.
“Women have higher body dissatisfaction than men, and it interferes with their sex life more,” says Frederick. “This can impact sexual satisfaction and ability to orgasm if people are focusing more on these concerns than on the sexual experience.”
There is also the idea that male orgasm helps facilitate reproduction. There is no such connection between orgasm and reproduction in women, Frederick says.
“But millions of years ago, there might have been,” he adds. “One theory is that in ancestors of humans, orgasm occurred more easily because its function was to cause ovulation to occur. Once the monthly menstrual cycle began regulating ovulation, orgasm was no longer coupled with reproduction for women. This allowed ability and ease of orgasm to become more variable in women over millions of years…”
Something to Talk About
Quite tellingly, the gap also highlights an enormous discrepancy between men and women in the perception of sexual satisfaction.
Some 41 percent of the heterosexual men who participated in the survey said their partner always achieved an orgasm. But only 33 percent of heterosexual women said that they were likely to climax during sex with a male partner.
“Part of this difference in perception could be due to women faking orgasms, which research has suggested women will do for a variety of reasons, including out of love for their partner, to protect their partner’s self-esteem, intoxication, or to bring the sexual encounter to an end,” the study authors note.
Lloyd says that studying orgasm frequency remains an important area of research. Previous studies show a significant association between orgasms and greater satisfaction with personal relationships.
The results of such research, the authors add, offer couples a range of different approaches to sex. Each could improve the frequency of orgasms, particularly among women.
“Women really are tremendously variable in how readily they orgasm and what makes one woman orgasm can be quite different than what makes another woman orgasm,” says Frederick. “Explicit and direct communication with one’s partner is key.”
That said, Lloyd urges couples to consider the “golden trio” of moves next time they are intimate with each other.
“I would like [women] to take that home and think about it, and to think about it with their partners and talk about it with their partners,” she says. “If they are not fully experiencing their fullest sexual expression to the maximum of their ability then I think our paper has something to contribute to their wellbeing.”
